Often when I am coaching people I find that one of the main things that has them stuck, unable to move forward, is their inner critic. Each of us has an inner critic that has usually been with us since childhood when we absorbed what we heard from others. When we investigate the inner critic further what we find is that it is actually trying to protect us and keep us from getting hurt. It’s acting like an overly protective mother even though it’s misguided.
Common dialogue from the inner critic may go like this:
“You really don’t have what it takes to accomplish what you want to accomplish.”
“Who do you think you are to think you can step into a management role/or create that software/or launch the business you’ve been dreaming of?”
“You are thinking way out of your league.”
“Don’t you remember when you tried to do something like this before and how you failed?”
What to do? The best way to move out of this stuck place is to befriend your inner critic. Get it to work with you as a partner. Create a balanced relationship with it. It’s important not to ignore or avoid it or to avoid the emotions it raises.
How to befriend my inner critic?
1. Ask your inner critic where it comes from and what is it trying to do for you?
2. Ask it to help you and explore how it might do that.
An additional pointer: One other thing you can do is write down everything the inner critic is saying to you in one column. In the second column you write a positive affirmation that replaces the criticism, then several times a day repeat out loud the affirmations. You can also write them on post-its and put them around your house.
You can learn how to partner with your inner critic so it’s useful to you. It’s important that you not allow it to bully you. Remember the inner critic is only a part of you, not the whole of you. Life Coaching can support you to transform your inner critic to be your ally and facilitate you to move forward step by step toward your goals. Contact me www.katherinebdobson.com for a free coaching session to experience this for yourself.